It’s 2.18am in the morning, and I’m awake. T-minus 4 hours till I am supposed to be awake to start my regular morning routine. I just wanted to come around to write a few words about how I feel, pre-clinical.
I’m going to start my first clinical placement tomorrow (today), at Hospital Rehabilitasi Cheras as a student in Occupational Therapy. It lasts three weeks, and I clock in hours from 8am-5pm. I often tell people that, basically I’m working without getting paid.
How I feel?
I am an Chinese ethnic young woman in a multi-cultural country. I fear that my Malay (our national language) wont be strong enough to communicate comfortably with ethnic Malays, and ethnic Chinese would refuse to speak to in any language besides their dialects, which of none I speak besides mandarin (it has happened. Senior Horror Stories 101).
2. Real World, Real Lives
Although I admit that my influence on people (especially as a student) would not be as impactful as a doctor or nurse, I still look at my profession as one where I’m coming out into the real world, with the very limited knowledge that I have, and am allowed to immediately use my knowledge to help (and hopefully not harm) others. It’s the same principle, as an architect graduating and allowed to design a building right off the bat that will be built in the city for all to see and live in. It just freaks me out that I’m at a point where my actions and decisions will impact lives and other people. I literally could get sued if I make mistakes. I mean, I signed a contract of ethics and everything! It’s honestly something everyone has to face, as one comes out to work in the real world. However, to actually come to this point, still feels like I’m on the edge of the diving board about to be pushed off.
3. Case Study and Clinical Reports
As much as I do love reports (I really do), this would be the first time where the majority of our grading will be influenced by people out of my schools’ power. We would mainly be graded by other therapists based on our attitude as well as case study in which we have to prepare a powerpoint in front of all the occupational therapists of the hospital and a few of our lecturers. Again, I repeat the fact that my knowledge is limited. What if I do not provide good reasoning for the choices I make?
4. “Someone is always watching you”
How does that not freak you out? It is literally a line out of horror movie. However during our introductory classes, it was emphasized that we have to be on our best behavior, because we are always being watched. Again, that line is just scary in itself. Nuff said.
Well! On the bright side, I know that it will be a time of learning, making mistakes (hopefully, not big enough to be sued), and learning again! I just hope to be a sponge and soak it all in. I remember that I chose this line of field because I wanted to help people, and that’s what I need to focus on. Which is to help others, or better myself to help others in the future. I am reminded that I will humble myself to learn, to better serve others in need.
Matthew 23:11 (NKJV)
But he who is greatest among you shall be your servant. And whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.
Wish me luck!